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Next Book Club Pick: "I Don't Want to Talk About It" by Terrence Real
- Next: Sunday, January 10 · 9:00 AM
- Where: Online
- Hosted by Sean Fogarty with Mike Cameron
About this gathering
Connect’d Reads runs a little differently from our regular gatherings. Instead of starting from an open theme, we work through one book together over several sessions and let it steer the conversation. You still get the same honest, judgment-free space, just with a shared starting point. You don’t need to have finished the book, or even be caught up, to show up. But you’ll get more out of it if you start reading now, so grab a copy and get a few chapters in before we meet.
This round’s book: I Don’t Want to Talk About It by Terrence Real
What it’s about
Male depression doesn’t usually look like weeping on the couch. More often it looks like anger, isolation, workaholism, or hitting the bottle. Renowned family therapist Terrence Real calls this “covert depression.” In this groundbreaking book, Real goes deep into the hidden legacy of male suffering. He explores how traditional masculinity teaches boys to silence their feelings, how that pain gets passed down from fathers to sons, and, most importantly, how men can break the cycle and build genuinely fulfilling lives and relationships.
Why we’re reading it
As a men’s group, we talk a lot about showing up for ourselves and our families. This book gives us the actual vocabulary to do that. It’s raw, it’s honest, and it cuts through the usual self-help fluff. Real doesn’t coddle men, but he doesn’t bash them either. He offers a blueprint for “fierce intimacy” and real emotional strength.
Key themes we’ll be tackling
- The Hidden Symptoms: how male depression masks itself as anger or numbness.
- The Father-Son Legacy: how we inherit emotional habits, and how to stop passing down the ones that hurt.
- Moving Past Isolation: how to actually connect with partners, kids, and friends when our default mode is to shut down.
“Privately, men suffer from a blank, aching loneliness... We are a culture of codependent women and narcissistic men. But beneath the narcissism lies a profound fragility.” – Terrence Real
Grab a copy, start reading, and come ready for an open, no-BS conversation.
All you need to do is show up. Sit and listen, or join in and share. You are not alone.
Questions men ask us
What is Connect'd Men?
Connect'd Men is a community for men who want to slow down, open up, and reconnect, with themselves and with each other. We create safe spaces where men can explore their emotions freely, build genuine friendships, and practise the kind of vulnerability that leads to real connection. Our gatherings are built on the S.O.A.R. framework: Slow Down, Open Up / Observe, Accept, and Reconnect.
Who is Connect'd Men for?
Any man who wants to grow emotionally and connect more authentically, wherever he is on that journey. Whether you're going through a difficult season, feeling isolated, or simply want deeper friendships, you belong here. No man is too new, too broken, or too late. You are not alone.
What happens at a gathering?
Each gathering follows four parts. We begin with a few minutes of mindfulness to help everyone slow down and arrive. Each man checks in with how he's feeling, without needing to explain or justify it. We move into a theme, guided by a topic but always open to what's most present for the men in the room. We close with check-outs, each man sharing one thing he's taking with him.
Do I have to talk?
No. You're welcome to sit and listen for as long as you like. Many men do at first. When you're ready to share, the space will be there.
Does it cost anything?
No. Gatherings are free to attend, and creating an account is free.
Is Connect'd Men therapy or counselling?
No. Connect'd Men is a peer community, not a clinical or therapeutic service. Our gatherings are facilitated spaces for honest conversation, connection, and mutual support, not treatment. Many members find that showing up consistently, being heard, and hearing others makes a real difference to their wellbeing. If you're going through a mental health crisis, we encourage you to also work with a qualified professional. In Canada you can call or text 9-8-8 any time.
How is Connect'd Men different from other men's groups?
Most men's groups are built around activity, networking, or self-improvement content. Connect'd Men is built around honest conversation and emotional presence. We don't fix, advise, or perform. We listen, share, and hold space. The S.O.A.R. framework and our group agreements create a kind of trust most men have never experienced with other men.
Is everything shared in the group confidential?
Yes. Confidentiality is one of our core group agreements: what's shared in the group stays in the group. It's the foundation that makes real openness possible, and every man commits to it.
How do I join Connect'd Men?
A good first step is our free Connection Quiz. It takes about four minutes and gives you an honest picture of where you are right now. Then find a gathering near you or online: one short form creates your free account and saves your spot. You're also welcome to reach out to us with any questions first.
Where are gatherings held?
In-person gatherings are currently held in Langley, BC, Red Deer, AB and Williams Lake, BC. There are online gatherings too, open to men wherever they live. See upcoming gatherings for dates and places.